Have you ever looked around and thought “I am sooooo over my head right now. There is no way I’m going to make this happen?” Welcome to everyday of my life!

I don’t want to attribute this feeling to my being in academia for so long, because I’m pretty sure anyone entering into a new environment feels that they don’t deserve to be there, or that they have no idea how they got into the situation in the first place. What I can tell you is that that feeling you feel is called the “imposter syndrome.” It’s the complex that we get when we can’t accept what we’ve accomplished in life, through… I don’t know, let’s say... 10 years of experience and 2 degrees, and 2 certificates... it’s the feeling that someone will expose us as a “fraud” because even though we have accomplished so much, we still don’t feel worthy enough for that shiny new position we’ve entered.

I felt it when I first walked into university; I felt it when I started my masters; when I tried to pursue my PhD (yes, tried); when I began this research and consulting business; and finally, when I wrote this blog. I attribute my imposter syndrome to being around so many successful, wonderful, extremely smart people. I think, "No, I can’t start a business, I know so-and-so is a lot more successful than me, and that’s what they did.” It’s that forever niggling feeling that sits on the back of my mind when I walk into a new contract, or someone contacts me to do a consultation. That’s when you start to think of all your failures, and trust me... even the greatest people we know fail. And yes, I know, there are psychological theories that would argue that I’m feeling this way in these situations because I’m part of a marginalized population. But this is debatable. I believe everyone at some point in their life feels this complex.

I want to share this information in my first blog post because I think it’s important that everyone knows that every single person feels this way in situations that are important to them. We will constantly compare ourselves to other people and undermine our own accomplishments. We have that small doubt in our mind that this is all an illusion and the moment we start celebrating our accomplishments, it’s all going to fall through. I think the big question here is how do we get past this crippling feeling of being an imposter in our own skin to feeling accomplished and competent? Well, I’m sure you can find all kinds of self-help blogs and posts on how to overcome this syndrome, but I’m not sure we ever truly get rid of it... I think we adapt and adjust to our environment, or we leave it. Which seems kind of harsh? But! It’s the reality of it all. While I was in academia, I was told “the moment you start to feel competent means you’re no longer learning... move onto something harder and grow.” I think I was stuck so long in the feeling of incompetency that I forgot what it was like to actually feel like I knew what was going on...

So now I have people asking for my expertise in academic success and research development. It’s kind of the opposite to what academia taught me! But my point here is that its OK to feel this way. To feel nervous and excited for new adventures. It’s OK to feel this way because it is normal. We all feel inadequate when we start something new. That’s why slogans like "Fake it till you make it” exist! However, I feel like most of the time we aren’t actually faking it. We are just self-doubting how genius we all are. Let me tell you something about me: I love the underdog in all situations. It’s the underdog who is going to break those barriers and prove to the world that they deserve to shine, and I guarantee you that the underdog is feeling that imposter complex. Even though I am feeling that imposter syndrome creeping up every once and awhile, I want to dedicate my expertise in research to help other people overcome these kinds of barriers that prevent them from succeeding and completing their own personal goals.

I started Alpha Ethics Research and Consulting for three reasons:

to help students who are struggling to find their niche within the university learn to adapt and find the right path for them
to help academics push through their busy course and workloads and know they can trust the research that is being guided within their lab
to help businesses and departments manage their data ethically, confidentially, and effectively so they can help their work environment prosper

I thought about the skill set I have gained through 10 years of experience working with data, ethics, and in a research environment; I knew I could use these tools to help rid people of the stress and demands they feel every day. I’m hoping that while I battle my own imposter syndrome, I can help eliminate that feeling within the research community that I become involved with, and help my clients grow overall.

Please remember that everyone is in the position they are in for a reason. Embrace your achievements and always remember to ask for assistance if it’s needed.